I almost agree with Abrams. Usually I'm fairly lukewarm towards him, because he's done a lot I've liked and a lot I've disliked, and I feel sort of the same about his statement. Yes, bringing focus to a gay couple in a Star Trek film is like unnecessarily bringing focus to a heterosexual couple.
However... It doesn't have to be focus. Simply having two crewmen in the background holding hands, an affectionate smile between main or supporting actors or even (if it was felt necessary) a surreptitious lustful look shared between them would do. Even sharing quarters, like Chief O'Brien and Keiko, with (perhaps) an adopted son or daughter. There doesn't have to be any love scenes or even obvious lovy dovy behaviour or chit chat; just the normal affectionate behaviour one might expect to be shared between spouses. It doesn't necessarily need ten minutes devoted to it; in a film, all that would be required would be a two minute exchange to establish the characters' orientation.
Though... As I think of it, I would prefer it to be more subtle. The occasional couple holding hands or meeting and hugging in the background. Just enough for the subconscious to see it and (hopefully) accept it as something normal. If that happened more often, when it was seen in the foreground, it would not be seen to be something different, daring and bold; it wouldn't be shocking, it wouldn't be something out of the ordinary, it would be something we've subconsciously seen many many times before.