Danger of the downward spiral

Benjamin Ethier

Sthiss

Re: Danger of the downward spiral

January 28 2013
I think the greater issue here is sexual identity among sexually active gay men. I know that if I want to get with hot guys I need to be hot myself.

This is the gay law.

One can only attract the people they are attracted to if they look as the attractive person does.

Unfortunately, 'look as one wants' holds more water than a gallon bucket.

don't fight it, our psychological fronts and representations won't let you understand the truth...
Bren Ohmsford

Bren

Re: Danger of the downward spiral

January 28 2013
Quote by Sthiss
I think the greater issue here is sexual identity among sexually active gay men. I know that if I want to get with hot guys I need to be hot myself.

This is the gay law.

One can only attract the people they are attracted to if they look as the attractive person does.

Unfortunately, 'look as one wants' holds more water than a gallon bucket.

don't fight it, our psychological fronts and representations won't let you understand the truth...


Hot is relative. I find a kind spirit and confident personality much more attractive. Next time you meet a hot guy, close your eyes and shut out your visual sense. Experience him with your other senses. Is he still hot, or did his looks overwhelm your opinion?

Looks fade over time. They're as changing as the seasons. What we consider to be hot also changes with fashion. One decade it's twinks, the next decade it's muscle boys and bears. And I've seen many guys change themselves and drop their boyfriends simply so that they could fit in with what is considered "hot" and be seen with someone other people consider as "hot".

I guess what I'm trying to say is that what is hot for you shouldn't be influenced by anyone's opinion but your own. And if you do allow other people's opinions to influence your attraction (especially the gay community's), then you're simply feeding the big bad monster that is Gay Law.
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Jwcisneros

Lorenius

Re: Danger of the downward spiral

February 07 2013
I too lived in SoCal for a good number of years, ymmv but I have heard more negative opinions of AC models than positive. But that is not the thrust (pardon the pun) of my post.

I went from a 25 year career as a working professional actor to academia. I study the History of Sexuality in the West in the Middles Ages and Early Modern periods. I changed careers because I felt what suffices to be the gay community is vastly ignorant of its very real history, a history that extends back before the words "gay" or "homosexual" existed. A history that goes back to well before a vociferous minority in the Roman Catholic Church made up the now widely accepted (inaccurate) meaning of the word "sodomite."

I volunteer for the Trevor Project because every life I help save is precious and needs to know that WE have always been here. I talk about Stonewall and before, fighting back, not letting the sorry bastards get (us) down. I talk about ACT UP, Gay Men's Health Crisis, Harvey Milk, and John E. Boswell, whose book literally saved my life when I was a teenager. I talk about those of us who are here and I talk about the ones we lost. It is not just a job for me, it is a passion because there are still people out there who could care less whether we live or die, and some of them are politicians.

I'm not angry, I am determined. Do what feels right, have a healthy sex life and don't you fucking dare feel guilty. Just be safe and smart about it. Gay Pride is not about expiating shame, it is about owning it and dealing with it. Shame is a universal concept that Gay Pride cannot deliver us from because everyone feels shame at some point/s in their lives.

Most important is to know how to accept yourself for who you are, twink, bear, otter...whatever your flavor of subculture, own it. I will accept you without borders. Love the cisgendered because they are the next ones in line in the fight for universal human rights...and their time is coming quickly.

We erect too many damned borders; age, appearance, morphology, butch, femme, macho...gay gents, bluntly put, we all like dick. Something about our own gender makes us fire on all cylinders. There is nothing new about who we are, and as a historian I can authoritatively say conclusively this is true. Same goes for the ladies.

Gods, I ramble on...but human attraction is human attraction and from the dawn of history men have been getting it on with men, ladies have been getting it on with ladies, even our straight brethren have been doing the horizontal mambo since before recorded history began.

There is too little love on this dirtball we call Earth. Make some love today, hug your friends, kiss your mom, smile at a stranger (it may confuse them, but fuck it).

Love,

~Jeff
aka T'oi@Lorenius
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